So yea things have changed alot for me. this post is gonna be short so live with it because i know certain people might be reading this that i do not care for really since they have proven not to care about me so to them i say FUCK YOU…ok and now that thats done some recent information for the rest of you. as you have noticed we have moved into chicago, and all is well and i have come to love being here a great deal. the apartment is awesome and my tiny room well is tiny but i love it, i feel at home which i havent felt that way in some time. staying with my cousin and my aunt was stressful to say the least but that has passed. So now me, duo, and slephie are here in the windy city enjoying are new space. im workin again at a place im really digging working for, no more bullshit Twins Tavern, and for anyone that might be reading this from there that i didnt care for please go die in a fire. the ones i liked and had a friendship, i wish nothing but the best for you and hope you get out of dekalb very very soon for your own good. so anyways like i said this one was gonna be short expect more updates soon ill be getting back to posting and what not.
i have been avoiding writing a this post, i wanted to wait till i wanted to write this one…
For the past few years i had been taking care of my mother, at first when i found out that she was sick i wasn’t fully aware of all the shit i would have to go through. i kinda laugh, what strange times we live in. so anyways as time passed she would have her good times and her bad times.
i knew what the outcome was going to be either way. at first i just kept telling myself something will happen and they’ll find a cure. overtime that faded away, all i wanted was for her to stop hurting. so i watched and waited, and it just got worse. but things were not all bad life still had it’s up times. time passed and things maintained. till the last 2 months, shit just got bad. it all just fell apart, she just had gotten so sick there was nothing they could do. she just faded away, she said her peace to me and that was the last thing i heard from my mother. a day later i went back and waited with her till the end. she went in peace…i and selphie were there along with some friends of the family. she was with people that loved her. and she will be missed. in spite of all my feelings about the things she did in the past 2 years, i’m sad, i loved my mom and now shes gone for good. My Mother April.19.1952 to September.23.2007
So it’s has been sometimes since i had anything to say but i feel like i need to talk a little bit. well those dark times i always had at the side of my mind have come at last. My mom has taken a turn for the worse, and it keeps going down as the time passes. for me it’s been rather hard on me for a few days, and it was my birthday yesterday which on one hand was very fun. me and 2 of my friends went out to the strip club, now your saying “WTF Rival why of all places when your mother is dying you go there?” my answer for that is simple if she was in the right state of mind she would tell me to go. i say that becuase shes not the woman i remember as my mother. Right now shes just fighting it all, i’ve been saying for the past few days that my mother is the same as a Battle Axe. but at this point shes worn down and not herself anymore. she doesn’t what year it is, or fuck where she is for that matter. IT FUCKING SUX in more ways than i could express in text, you would just have to be here with me to see it for yourself. i look to Duo and Selphie for alot of support in these times. there here for me now and for the long haul. i reallt don’t know what i would do without them. my aunt came out as well seeing that her sister was well in her final days. which also brings my cousin along as well. we have our “differences” it’s the nice way of putting it. it’s long story but i think i should listen to what he has to say, if he wants to give a little i will to. things are VERY surreal right now, time just kinda crawls by it’s agonizing. i’m just so mad and angry, and sad. parts of me are just yelling out wanting to just lash out and cut down anything in my path. i want to let go and let the rage consume me. it’s like the little angel and devil sitting on your shoulders telling you what to do good and bad, except theres alot more bad ones. but i guess things go on and things will be what they will be.
i finished the chapter a few days ago and uploaded it. i think it’s coming along good. but anyways read away, i might take a break from it for awhile to do something a little different. i don’t know i dout it seeing that i was researching all day before work. oh that brings up something HOW THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COST EFFECTIVE TO HAVE ONLY ONE COOK WORKING ON A BUSY NIGHT!!! thats fucking smart, i would have been fucked if it wasn’t for the head cook still being around after her shift. eh it wasn’t really a big deal i just think that was really stupid of them….. hmmmm what else over the past week i picked some dvds: 300, HOT FUZZ, oh and the Police Squad collection. if you have seen the naked gun movies then you know what i’m talking about maybe… but anyways i’m off
I added a new page something i was thinking for a while thought about posting it so figured i fuck it. it ties in with the burning sands. this isn’t a long post just some quick news, because i’m gonna try putting time in and getting an edit done on the story and finishing the chapter. but expect some more soon.
So i went and saw the new Transformers movie and it rocks. don’t want to say anything about it really except that well it’s pretty fucking cool. better then the other movies i’ve already. only other movie that i want to see at this point is the new Bourne movie. but back to Transformers, it’s not like the cartoons and yet it is. Peter Cullin still sounds like prime and Megatron even sounds like Frank Welker even tho it’s not. they made this movie in such a way that makes it like the old cartoons and the modern world. all in all it’s tight, i liked it and i like the old cartoons. i know it sucks to give your money to the monsters of the movie industry but it’s worth it. SO TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT, and enjoy.
posted a partial chapter didn’t want to but did it anyways. not much been going on work ya know shit like dat. been feeling kinda lonely recently kinda doesn’t help when you want to get some writing done. picked up the new Nine Inch Nails album really good stuff trent is back with this new direction. it’s called Year Zero do your-self a favor and pick it up. and call the number on the back haha. but i’m off didn’t have much to say might have more tomorrow. later.
So it was another night at the movies. And tonight it was “Grindhouse” good movie, long sit. But there 2 very different movies, i’m sure you know for those that don’t tho. The first is called “Planet Terror” an over the top zombie movie, the second is called “Death Proof” crazy guy drives car and kills females. “Death Proof” is more of a throwback to the old grind house films. but overall there good movies. Now we all watch the trailers and say thats cool or “aw sweet gotta see that” but i’m really sorry “Halloween” remade by rob zombie to me thats not cool. i guess i’m not a big fan of rob zombie’s style. i won’t shell out the cash for yet another remake. It just bugs me, but i won’t know till it comes out but i saw the last Halloween movie and man that was god awful.
Your walking down the street enjoying your day possibly going to work or going to see your girlfriend, and then the worst happens a car tire blows it swerves and lines up and BAM you get hit and it’s the one you don’t walk away from they pick up the peices…but right at that moment you think your dead…your pulled back to life and repaired and brought into a new life that well isn’t entirly yours. as you look around your not alone a few people are sitting around waiting. you look around some more and come to find a large black sphere. your now asking What The Fuck is going on. well your now unwilling player in Gantz’ game. It’s deciedes to send your ass out to kill some aliens, and it looks like this is gonna be cake. but as soon as you get out nothing seems right, you see some people walk past you, as your yelling and screaming to get there attetion, they do nothing but keep on walking. finally you and your little group find the alien, and your team wastes the thing, blowing it to peices with weapons you got from gantz before the mission. the game should be over but jokes on you that wasn’t what your goal was.The final boss shows up and this thing is nothing compared to little guy except for looks, it begins murdering the team. tearing people limb from limb, killing evrything in sight including you. You fail horribly everyones dead. your picture and those of your teammates are added to the pictures of other players that failed. gantz’ scrolls a message across the pictures. ” stup1d n00bs, th3y g0t k1ll3d, h4h4…”. it’s fucked up, but think about it would play to live because thats your only choice or a brutal death not once but twice. this is Gantz one of the most violent anime, manga around. if want to know more i’ll leave the wikipedia link for it. till then later.
This isn’t going to be very long, juts got to talk about something i’ve been thinking about for few days since i heard it… amidst another long week. So this isn’t excatly the way it was said but it’s what what i got out of it, “In the novices mind there a many paths but in the experts mind there are few.” so yea it’s cheesy but it fits in place with all the crap i’m thinking about and working about in my head. but either way i will be putting up more stuff in the next couple of days so if anyone reads this at all there should be new stuff soon.
